A Can of Worms

The other day I awoke to the sound of Ethan screaming. As I rolled over in my bed I see my little two year old running stark naked down the hall. Now this is not entirely unusual in our home, but since I was waking up to the scene I was a bit more concerned than normal. I jumped out of bed and ran over only to realize that it was not a pain scream but an Indian holler. It is then that my still groggy eyes focus and see his entire face covered in red marks. I ask him if he did this and he said, “No, Blathor.” Which when translated means, “No I didn’t do this my brother did.” I walk the naked warrior into his room and confront Gavin. As he spins around, his face also bares witness to the mighty red pen. It seems as though Gavin wanted to “paint” their faces to be Indians, and a handy red ink pen was just the thing. I sent them both to the couch and with a straight face told Gavin I was only taking a picture so he would be reminded to never do this again. The picture however, suggests that Ethan may be more responsible than previously thought.

This week we had our very dear friends Johnny and Jenna come to visit. We took them around our little town, and even hiked into the hills to explore some great views of Jacksonville and the entire valley. Please visit http://www.flickr.com/photos/richanddeeann for some photos of our hike.

It was fun having close friends spend time in our world but it was even more special to see them love our children. We have been blessed to have both family and friends take on more than just a casual role with our kids, but rather take an active roll in training and challenging their behavior. This has been one of the most important gifts people have given us. It is with a mixture of confidence and permission that people tell our boys what they should or should not be doing. As parents we cringe at having a child say or do something that is inappropriate. A typical first reaction is to ignore the situation but we have learned that a more direct and immediate correction is better in the long run. This has paid great dividends over the years. What good is our training if it is only practiced when we are nearby. We expect our boys to behave and grow not only under our supervision but from others that love them as well.

This Sunday we delivered our first batch of flyers to the neighborhood for Gavin and Ethan’s business. The boys dressed in their cowboy gear and walked the entire route with DeeAnn and I helping. It was a great family walk as we went from door to door. By the time we finished it had just started to rain so we headed home to get warm.

On Saturday I attended one of the citizen action committee meeting for the City of Jacksonville. We went through various vision statements and at one point a member said we should also consider mentioning the spiritual history of the area and recognizing its influence and importance in the values. The facilitator quickly stated that it was best to stay away from that “can of worms.” Ironically, we had already discussed this can of worms and even as he continued he brought up his own spiritual values as an example for the future. This struck me as so strange and I have not yet been able to put into words what I feel. Not my first reaction but the deeper meaning of this issue.

Who is Bob?

This week was one of the most beautiful since we arrived. In fact, it reminds us of the cool spring days we often experienced in Southern California. Jacksonville is awash in color from the early spring blossoms. One tree in particular has either brilliant white or pink blossoms and when they fall they leave a carpet of color at the base of each tree. I need to find out what type of trees these are.

Perhaps Bob knows what they are. Who is Bob? Well my first experience with Bob was last week as I was holding little Camden in my arms and noticed a man walking around our lawn sprinkling fertilizer. As quickly as he appeared he again vanished before I had a chance to talk to him. You see, our rental agreement states we are responsible for lawn maintenance. I thought maybe I had misread the agreement so I went to the garage to find the document when I heard a leaf blower. Once again the man was very quick, and by the time I got out the door, his back was to me with a leaf blower. I yelled and tried to chase him down the alley with Camden in my arms, but with only socks, I could not catch up to him. When DeeAnn got up from her nap I explained what he looked like. Several hours later I returned from an errand and DeeAnn told me she found out who the man was. It turns out she saw the man outside again and ran out to thank him for the fertilizer. The man looked at her bewildered and said he was our next door neighbor, the man she was looking for was Bob.

Turns out Bob lives a block from us and has a landscape business. But after some months all his clients were in the Nunan Square development. Needless to say we now see Bob everyday mowing and blowing almost every home, except for ours. Turns out, Bob is really expensive, and instead I could buy a really nice mower in a matter of months.

Rather than buying that mower I discovered that one of the other neighbors, who also does not use Bob, has a mower buts hates to mow. So I offered to mow his yard in exchange for using his mower. He pays for gas and stores the mower and I do both our lawns. Last Wednesday Bob saw me mowing the lawns and he watched me from afar trying to figure out who the new guy was in his territory. Perhaps when I get tired of mowing I will go back to Bob and see if he will give me a good price to get the “new guy” out of town.

Several people have given me grief over not providing an update on Camden, so here it is. He is growing and gaining weight, he sleeps (sometimes) looks around for a bit before crying, eating and then going back to sleep. He has not peed on me yet and seems to be good at keeping food in his stomach and not on the back of my shirt. His brothers like to pat and kiss his head, or at times hold him with an occasional kicking or falling on top of him during this demonstration of love and appreciation. All of this will change, of course, once they realize that he will want to chew on their Legos or pull legs off army men. Other than that, he is a good baby and we love him but can’t wait to experience his personality.

Gavin has started a business. He wanted to earn some money so we brainstormed and he now is part owner in a company called “Little Cowboy Express.” This business is a door-to-door marketing services for local business to our neighborhood. Gavin and Ethan dressed up in their cowboy outfits and passed out a brochure to all the businesses in town. They will hand deliver flyers or coupons to the 65 homes in our neighborhood for 5 cents per door. He currently has 2 or 3 verbal commitments and is waiting for brochures so they can get started. It’s rather strange, my sons have a job but I’m still looking.

I actually do have a few things I’m working on to generate money besides making my kids work the neighborhood. But while we pursue direction, seek patience and enjoy the time together as a family your prayers are coveted and desired.

We also appreciate the comment posted to last weeks blog!

Building Community

One of the things that we have missed most besides friends and family has been Trader Joes. I know it seems rather shallow but Trader Joes has some great quality food at a great value. There seems to be a rumor up here, for several years now, that Trader Joes will open up a store in Southern Oregon. Unfortunately, that has yet to become a reality. Several weeks ago I discovered that Trader Joes is performing a zip code survey in order to find the next location. I am not sure if this is for Oregon alone or all the Trader Joes in the country. But IF the survey is at all stores I would like to ask for your assistance. When you are asked for your zip code at Trader Joes please provide our zip code - 97530. My first recruit was the cashier in the Eugene location. I asked him to use my zip code for all of those customers who do not provide one. This is a grass root effort to encourage Trader Joes to come to Southern Oregon.

How many of us have been warned as kids to NEVER eat yellow snow? Well I am here to tell you that yellow snow is good and rather sweet. That’s right I ate yellow snow. I would have had seconds but it seemed rude to ask for more. I also had homemade snow-ice cream. Apparently when blessed with several inches of snow you can make very tasty treats using pineapple juice, half and half, milk, sugar, and vanilla extract. If interested in the recipe please email me and I will pass on the message to Katie Thompson.

As you all know I am often looking at small town life with big city eyes. Well here is one that I continue to struggle with. It started with a meeting in Jacksonville for citizens planning the vision 20 years out. During the meeting those that were on various committees were asked for their name and number. So one by one each resident called out their name then a four digit number. I was confused for several minutes until I realized that the four digit number was their phone number. No, Jacksonville is not stuck in the 50’s but in fact everyone has the same number as everybody else. I mean the same phone number as everybody else with only the last four digits different. Ok so that is quaint, but seriously try to get around the idea that everybody in town shares the same numbers but four. Its similar to all of us living on the same street but having only a different house number. The idea can easily escape ones brain but its powerful to think that its little things like this that create a community. A common bond often no greater than the simplest of interactions.

This idea of community of late, is difficult to express but even more difficult to develop. I have often thought that the reason Los Angeles has such a tough time creating community is because people lack a single gathering place for special events or perhaps its the constant change in neighbors as people moved about. Or maybe it was the fairly consistent sunshine that allows people to pick any day to do chores or activities as opposed to the weather dictating when you get out.

Well Jacksonville does not have a single place to gather any more than Old Town Pasadena for the Doo Dah Parade - www.pasadenadoodahparade.info It also has few original locals but plenty with a start in another part of our great country (read: California). The weather has certainly shaped when people move about and that does bring out a common bond at times but only after an extended period of cold or wet weather. This is often true in Southern California when a week of rainy weather followed by a gorgeous 75 degree day and blue skies causes people to get out and enjoy the day.

So what creates community? How do you define it? And more importantly how do you maintain it once found? These questions are what I believe are at the heart of this planning vision for Jacksonville. Sure, some want to make more money and others want to preserve the historical elements and size of town but the core of discussion is how to truly balance those desires without losing this special community.

As I sat in a meeting last week I came up with a phrase that helped me define what I feel is community - “frequency of interactions.” Strip away the charms, history, services, and everything else and simply focus on the people and their constant overlapping lives. These unplanned and unrehearsed interactions with people you know begin to create a sense of belonging and perhaps even ownership. This is not church, business meetings, civic clubs or even special events you attend but the natural and fluid crossover into other lives on a daily bases. As an example, I went to Whites Country Farm for my vegetables and was talking with Linda and Mark the owners when I saw my neighbor Tom walking to the front door. So there I stand talking when I mention to Tom that Warren, our other neighbor, suggested I borrow Toms mower in exchange for mowing Tom’s lawn. Tom says, “That’s great!” So we set a date to start. Linda speaks up and asks if Warren is married to Shelia. Indeed he is. Turns out Linda and Mark had dinner at their house on Friday.

This particular example is only a part of community. It requires more interaction and more depth, but it is the start of belonging and participating in others lives. So now take this interaction and multiply it several times and you begin to see that frequent interactions can begin to build more community. When we control our experiences with preplanned activities we isolate ourselves from community. It is truly those with whom we have not made plans with that can create a serendipitous moment. Look that word up - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serendipity

The Burn Pile

The Burn Pile. I have heard a lot about this rural phenomenon in the last few days. You see, the burn pile is a spot on your property that you accumulate things that can be burned. Things like leaves, tree limbs, trash, broken wooden furniture, rotted wood, anything that can burn without being toxic. We of course still live in a little subdivision and do not get to have burn piles. But if you live on a property with some land it is imperative to locate space for a good burn pile. Things I notice about burn piles are that when the day is dry and sunny it seems it is time to ignite the flames and burn the pile. Now for those from Southern California, you can only imagine the learned fear when you look to the mountains and see six or more fires burning in a variety of stages. Tall columns indicate a burn pile starting out while simple hazy clouds are for those piles that are now just smoldering. Your first reaction is to look for the initial wave of support aircraft which will include all major TV stations, followed by the firefighter helicopters and tankers. But they don’t come.

I can’t wait to have my own burn pile. Imagine the planning that goes into locating a spot that can burn for hours without supervision as well as be easily accessible to accumulate burn pile material. You certainty do not put a pile in the front yard where guests can see it. If in the back yard it must not be to close so as to have the smoke infiltrate your home. It will also depend on how large your property is. If large enough it will be less of an issue, while smaller lots may require careful planning.

Since I last wrote we did have several more days of large fluffy snowflakes and then on Saturday the sky filled with blue and the sun warmed up all that it touched, by Monday it was perfect burn pile weather.

I have noticed that the town seems to double in population when we have a warm day. Neighbors make a point of coming out to prune, sweep, wash, or simply sit on a chair to read.

Last Saturday I went to a town meeting to listen to the vision of Jacksonville for the year 2028. By the time it was done I found myself on three committees. I have met many new people and learned a lot about Jacksonville and why others think it is so special. It is interesting to watch others struggle to keep the town small while at the same time making Jacksonville shops more profitable. Those who moved here for the small town want to preserve that point in time. While those with business to run want, and need, more people to be profitable.

On Saturday Gavin, Ethan and I went to town with them dressed as cowboys. Pictures are on http://www.flickr.com/photos/richanddeeann (this time I verified the website). We met Sharon who is the founder of a group called Belles and Beaus. They dress in vintage clothing and stroll the streets of Jacksonville on Saturdays for a few hours. As we sat on a bench soaking in the sun I learned that Sharron’s husband was the executor of Ginger Rogers Estate. In fact she was holding a mink hand warmer that was once owned by Ginger. She was leaving this week to spend time with the Roger family in Palm Springs.

On Sunday we decided to get out of the house and go to Target and Costco. As we drove the boys pointed out the llamas (Notice the correct spelling. Thanks Dick), cows and horses. All of this within 15 minutes to Target which is next to the Mall. This place continues to amaze me with the variety of things to see and always in contrast with what I expect.

When we returned Gavin saw our neighbor Mrs. Merrimen outside washing her car. He bounded over and asked if he could go for a walk with her and her dog. Mrs. Merrimen responded with, “Sure, are you going to help me with my car?”. Gavin spent the next 20 minutes washing the small parts she was not able to reach. He was later rewarded with a walk.

Last week I went to the DMV to take my driving test as well as register the cars. I took a number and saw that only 3 other people were in front of me. As I sat I listened to peoples first names being called out to pick up their new drivers license. This is the DMV for all of Medford and I think the whole valley. Anyway, I handed my paperwork to the man and asked him if people failed the test very often, to which he replied, “It is very rare.” I went to the testing station and started. Several minutes later the guy next to me asked if I knew how many you could get wrong before you failed - he was at seven. I told him I was unsure and in fact had no idea of how long the test was. Seconds later he grunted and went back to the examiners desk. I was of course shocked that with so few fails that I would be sitting next to one that day. Well I finished the test and walked back to the examiner and told him my story regarding being nervous and having a guy next to me fail. He congratulated me on passing and said that I looked so nervous that he had to lie. The real pass rate is only 40%!

I walked out with Gavin to get chocolate sundaes at McDonalds to celebrate.

Rich, DeeAnn, Gavin, Ethan, and Camden